Last July I started seeing a psychiatrist that actually gives a fuck about me as a patient…but his methods…are a little off. While I agree that he has changed my life by paying attention to my medication and I’m finally receiving great care in that respect, he needs to shut his mouth.
First off, my appointments are always an hour long. In that hour, he always manages to say the most ridiculous things, repeats what he says in the previous appointment, and I leave….defensive, keyed up, and overall frustrated.
Thankfully, I only have to see him every few months…because he says things like this:
- With respect to me wanting to work on improving how I think about myself and my physical appearance (I want to be kinder to myself and catch negative thoughts before they get any fuel): “Why would you have anything to worry about. You’re such an attractive lady. You know, you could go to a bar at any minute and you would have at least five men wanting to pick you up.”. I responded that I want that feeling towards myself, that I don’t want to have to go to bar to feel good, and he said, “Well, that’s good. Because those men wouldn’t be there to make you feel good, they would primarily be interested in sexual advances!”. Like, ok, thanks Einstein. ‘Cause I thought that guys cruising girls in bars are looking for life partners.
- He asked if I encountered any sexism at my workplace, in light of the media coverage and awareness campaigns. I told him that yes, I do, that I receive the odd comment that I brush off because I consider the source, and that in my current job, I dress differently (ie: more conservative – and less fashionable then when I worked downtown). “Well, you should always be wearing pants. Skirts are not acceptable or professional work attire!”. I told him that I disagreed – that skirts are fine, and then he explained to me in which instances they would or would not be professional. I am just biting my tongue at this point… remembering that old saying – if you fight with an idiot – you’re the idiot…
- He told me again, that I should meditate. When I told him that I practice meditation regularly – he told me that I was doing it wrong (I tend to use guided meditation) and that I should simply start to sit in a quiet room for TEN minutes my first time and think of nothing.
- He regularly asks me if I’m religious (he forgets every time) and on two seperate visits he has told me that it’s a sin against God not to love myself. Each and everytime that I’m too hard on myself or even hating myself – I am sinning. No pressure or anything….
- He has asked me if I beleive in life after death – and gone into detail about his beleifs and how he knows this to be true because of his 20 year old cat that recently passed away (and today he told me he cried every night for 2 consecutive months).
- He tells me every single time that I need to be more proactive in finding a family doctor – because the media says that my provice will find 80% of the population a family doctor within the year. I have been searching for 3 years and am on a waiting list – of which I regularly consult to see if there has been any progress. It’s a complex system and I cannot just call someone to ask if they are seeing new patients – I have to be placed there by my regional health center.
This is so frustrating. While I would love to choose another doctor that doesn’t give me such stress, I have some pretty hefty medical debt because I had to wait so long before I saw a public psychiatrist (roughly 2 years), and then she gave me any and every kind of medication and would only see me every six months….
So I’m stuck with this weirdo. I never know what he’s going to say, what he’s going to do next…what kind of crap is coming out of his mouth. It’s so easy to say, Just ignore him, but when he’s my doctor….it’s a little different… and in the end, I just sit there with my mouth shut, counting down the minutes until I can leave his fucking office.
(Again – I’m happy for his treatment….but it’s hard to take at times…)